Issue 2, 24 October 2026: I used to look six months pregnant by 3pm

Issue 2. In which I discuss my stomach in more detail than anyone asked for.

Monday
Wrote a whole article about bloating. Realised halfway through that I was describing myself from about 2019 to 2022. Looked at old photos. Closed old photos.

Then the first ever run of Gut Feeling, my own kombucha, landed at the shop. I held a box up over Manor Square like Rafiki presenting Simba to the Pride Lands. The Pride Lands was a man in a flat cap waiting for the bus. He did not bow.

Tuesday
An influencer says the secret to gut health is a £90 powder that looks like a pond. The secret to gut health is also beans. Beans are 65p. I'm in the wrong business. Actually, I sell kombucha, so I'm in roughly the right business.

Packed and shipped the first Gut Feeling orders. I stroked every bottle and whispered "my precious" before letting it go. Out loud. In front of customers. One of them backed slowly towards the door.

Wednesday
Sober October has one week left. A customer told me he's "basically a monk now". He was holding a chocolate brownie the size of a hubcap. Respect.

Alan came all the way from Sheffield, on strict orders from his wife, to get some kombucha. He was the first person ever to buy Gut Feeling off the shelves. That's not a shopping trip, that's a mission. There should be a blue plaque. There won't be a blue plaque.

Kirsty was the first to pre-order and buy it online, and came in to collect. Andy came in too. He's been backing me and Functional Drinks Club for longer than either of us would like to admit. Every business needs an Andy. Very few deserve one.

So, thank you all. I'm not crying. It's the vinegar.

Thursday
Opened another Peterston Baked Apple, last week's spotlight. I had it with the shop door open and rain coming across Manor Square. "There's no place like home," I said, clicking my heels. A woman walking past crossed the road.

Friday
Considered a cold plunge. Ran the bath cold. Put one foot in. Got out. Had a cup of tea. Personal growth comes in stages.

New on the website · kombuchaclub.co.uk journal

Is kombucha good for bloating? Trapped wind and swelling explained

For years I blamed my age, stress and the odd curry that fought back. It was none of those. This is my honest bloating story: what changed (plants, something fermented every day, less booze), what the science actually backs, and why you shouldn't neck a whole bottle of kombucha on day one. As Mr Miyagi said: wax on, wax off, and patience.

New on the website · alcoholfreedrinksclub.com journal

What happens when you stop drinking for a month? (Besides getting smug)

If you're doing Sober October, here's what your body's up to while you explain yourself at the bar. It's the actual Royal Free Hospital study, written up by a public health bloke who now sells beer for a living. Yes, I see the irony. There's also the side effect nobody warns you about: running.

This week the lab coats followed the gut all the way to the brain.

A gut bug molecule linked to Alzheimer's The University of Wisconsin–Madison looked at blood from almost 1,200 people. Those with the most ImP, a compound made by some gut bacteria, had more signs of Alzheimer's-type changes and faster memory decline. In mice, ImP made it worse. In people it's a link, not proof, and there's no "eat this" tip yet. (Nature Communications, 3 Oct)
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Can your gut make a stroke worse? A study in Cell found that mice with more E. coli in their gut, producing a by-product called indole, had more severe strokes. In a small group of patients, more indole went with worse strokes too. The authors are clear it's not a test or a treatment yet. (Cell, via News-Medical, 2 Oct)
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Coffee drinkers, your gut has opinions University College Cork took 31 coffee drinkers off coffee for two weeks, then secretly gave half of them decaf. Both groups reported less stress, and coffee drinkers had different gut bugs. The decaf drinkers did better on memory tests, while the caffeinated lot felt less anxious and sharper. It's a small study, part-funded by a coffee industry body, and the authors say it doesn't prove cause. I'm having a coffee about it anyway. (Nature Communications, 28 Sep)
Read more →

We have a clean, high-antioxidant roast in the shop, and I wrote why we picked it.

Product spotlight

The Health Hype Roast Podcast New ep every week Everyone needs a James James Ellis is a clinical nutritionist, and his main job on the podcast is stopping me spending a small fortune on whatever YouTube told me to buy at 1am. Without him, my cupboard would be full of mushroom coffee, magnesium spray and something called "structured water". Everyone needs a James in their life. So every week, I lend you mine. This week: fasting. Superpower, or just being hungry with extra steps? Listen to this week's episode → Available on every major podcast platform. Got a health trend or supplement you want roasted? Email me at kevin@functionaldrinksclub.co.uk.

Same time next week: Saturday, 11am. Until then,

Kombucha Kev
Functional Drinks Club

P.S. Finishing Sober October next week and don't fancy going straight back to how things were? Zebra striping is the halfway house. Next week's diary covers it.